Dollface

Can we discuss for a minute how gorgeous Ms. Dolly is in this picture?

The play closes this weekend which is tragic--it's been such an amazing (and SHORT) run; however, that will leave me with a little more time for blogging which I look forward to.

In the meantime I came across these photos of Dolly Parton on Oprah's website and I was stunned by how amazing she looks in them.

In the name of women celebrating other women (as opposed to being jealous, threatened, insecure over which I, for one, can get sometimes) I think I might have to make a habit of posting beautiful, talented, brilliant women here once in a while. Feel free to send me your faves.

Happy Weekend!

They're Singing our Song

That's a street in the city where I grew up. Thinking I need a trip back there in the next year--it's been a while, my husband has never seen it, and I don't know--maybe it's the play I'm doing which has so much in it about making choices in life and in love---I feel like I want to be back where I was a kid and had no idea what the life ahead was going to deliver---all its miracles and all its mudslides.

I've been listening to music I loved when I was 11, 12, 13, 14.....digging out old CDs, downloading stuff I only have on cassettes from itunes. When a song comes on, it's like I'm launched back to listening to it then----remember the room I was in, or the friends' car, remember the weather. You know. We all do this. Can't help it. I don't remember exactly what I'd think about when I listened, but I know exactly how I felt, and that age there was a lot of longing and a lot of dreaming. I don't know exactly what I was longing for, and I don't remember all the dreams. I know I thought I'd have an Oscar by now:) And simultaneously there's the 2 decades of life layered onto whatever memory is there. So it almost feels like there are 2 of me listening and 2 of me going on the trip of the song.

I hadn't told my sister any of this, but in good sibling telepathy she sent me in the mail a CD of the first Indigo Girls album from 1989. 21 freaking years ago! So how old are they now....? Anyway.

She sent it to me and I listened--it's been a long time. I knew every lyric and I was that little kid and me now all at once and it's that bizarre existential feeling you all know: how was that 21 years ago? And somehow I got from there to here and it's been beautiful and it's been long....but 21 years long? No. I can't quantify the time but it's not 21 years. Couldn't be.

I think it's a good thing to be bittersweet sometimes. To half smile and half tear up about life going by. Makes us appreciate it, no? It's a half-sunny, half-cloudy day here and I'm listening to Willie Nelson singing sad songs so maybe that's what this mood is.....

Back to the Indigos. They wrote some pretty amazing lyrics. I am a sucker for a good lyric. I can sit down and just read Leonard Cohen's no music needed that guy is so good. This song I really love. I'm not putting all the words here---just a couple verses that got me then and get me now. This is so the world of the play I've been living in for weeks; YES it's influencing my life. How could it not. What would be the point of doing art if it didn't get under the skin? So take a gander and maybe stroll on over to itunes on your next cloudy day to dig through those songs you've forgotten you love so much.

pieces of "Love's Recovery" by the Indigo Girls

There I am in younger days, star gazing,
Painting picture perfect maps of how my life and love would be
Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
My compass, faith in love's perfection
I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
Left each other one by one in search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery.

Oh how I wish I were a trinity, so if I lost a part of me
I'd still have two of the same to live
But nobody gets a lifetime rehearsal, as specks of dust we're universal
To let this love survive would be the greatest gift we could give
Tell all the friends who think they're so together
That these are ghosts and mirages, these thoughts of fairer weather
Though it's storming out I feel safe within the arms of love's discovery

Sigh.

Virgin Saint Angel

I am none of the above.

However, a couple of weeks ago there was yet another turn in baby-creating world, and my body did it's thing--you know--it's woman thing. It bled. It was quite amazing, actually; and I realized the upshot of going through what I've been going through with no cycle is that I'll never be that girl that complains about her period. It was incredible to see my friends' faces when I told them---they got so excited and I felt so supported and cheered on. The kind of positivity that makes something already good even greater and more real. I'm continuing with my health stuff as I was before, even with the show running (OK I'm getting a little less sleep but my happiness level is so high that it makes up for what I'm not getting in rest), and I know that this doesn't mean I'll have the same experience this month but it might.....

It was worth celebrating.

Sky is a big fan of the celebration. Our engagement story is the stuff of legend---it's a 30-minute tale--I'll tell you sometime---and he's the kind of guy that plays it low key.....until he doesn't. Then he goes all out. And he gets to decide what's a good reason for going all-out. This became one of those times.

We planned date night on a night I got home from rehearsal and he showed up with 12 unbelievable red variegated roses, some sparking shiraz (one of my favorite things to drink---sparkling and red?! c'mon), 3 dinner reservations for me to choose from, and a gold box for me to open.

This was inside it.

Welcome to Virgins, Saints, and Angels jewelry line. (If you click on this link it will take you to their home page but most of the designs aren't visible there---you have to be an authorized retailer. There are more images here.) The pieces are borrowed from Mexican symbols of feminity; some are made with found objects; some are replicas of found objects. All are guaranteed for life. Here are some more:

You can wear them dressed up on a Saturday or throw them on with a t-shirt and boom, you're glam.

Needless to say, when I wear the one Sky gave me with the heart in the middle I feel my female goddess superpowers in full effect. Alisa said the coolest thing to me in our call yesterday: she said motherhood doesn't begin when you conceive, it begins when you decide to have a child. This feels like my first Mothers' Day gift.

Get your Game On

I'm coming back I swear!!!!!!

Opening went beautifully. I don't as a habit read reviews but I heard this one was stellar so I caved.

I have so many things I want to put up here and until there's a teeny more time in my day I will leave you with a game for your amusement. I suppose if you're really stubborn this could become an obsession. But a minute or 2 is fun and weird.

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

1. While sitting in front of your computer (ie now), lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

There is nothing you can do about it!!!!! My sister says she beat it but I know there's something fishy going on there. I catch myself trying it at random moments, sneaking up on it like a cat burglar, and it never fails: my right foot follows my right hand. BIZARRE. What neurons are talking to each other, oh mysterious body and brain?

So now you always have something to do in doctors' offices, in airports, while waiting for a train......

Go Lakers.

Where I'll be this Week

HI

I am officially going underground this week because my play opens on Friday. I am facing the realization (again---life is often teaching me this) that I am not in fact Superwoman and cannot do everything I want to do, ie post here during tech week where my days at the theatre are 12 hours.

HOWEVER, here's the flyer for the show and if you're in LA or know anyone in LA send them!! The play is beautiful and funny--about relationships, being lonely, trying to connect, what's under the surface; the cast and direction is so good; the theatre is a SoCal gem. And if you do come, please find me after and say Hi! That would make my day.

Talk to you next week

xo

Baby Love

Italy was amazing! Sorry I didn't send postcards! Cavorting with local fisherpeople, drinking rose, hanging by the sea in one of those sassy Norma Kamali bathing suits I posted a while back.....All of this in my head anyway:) I promise that when I do figure out how to teleport I will be sure to tell you.

And big shout-out thank you to those of you who posted or emailed me your post-it notes---it means a lot to me when I hear from you:)

I think it's time for a baby update! I feel like it's been a while since I talked at all about actual physical progress and what I've learned.....And some of it isn't just baby-focused--some of it is just good women's health tips.

The biggest excitement of the week is that I had my hormone levels checked and they're all NORMAL!!! Woohoo!! They were all over the place before, mostly low. So in 4 months through acupuncture, herbs, and changing my food and exercise, my body IS actually changing and healing. If mine can do it, yours can do it. I mean that. Sometimes I hear of or read of or see another's success and I think "She can do it but not me". That is absolutely the worst thinking out there. If another's success can be inspiration not defeat everybody wins. This is VERY HARD for me sometimes---I can get really freaked out and scared I'm getting left behind. I was scared to get the levels checked; scared everything I've been doing would be working for everyone but me. There's that saying Feel the Fear but Do It Anyway. YES. There really is enough health, wealth, creativity, romance out there for all of us. K, there's my rant on that.

So the the big discoveries of late.....

1) The Pill:

Thanks to Alisa and Laughing Sage I have learned a lot more about this drug that celebrated its 50th anniversary lately. Did you know our brains aren't finished developing til we're 21? That means if we're going in there and tinkering with its functions before that we can actually get in the way of it developing?! I went on the Pill at 17 for PCOS. That means 4 years before it was finished developing I put parts of it to sleep. And I wonder why it hasn't wanted to wake up. It literally never had a chance to function as an adult woman's. Thankfully our brains are amazing and it's learning now. Tell your little sisters or nieces or whomever to seriously consider not touching the Pill til after 21. And as for after that, it's a personal decision if you want to use it ever or use it for years. I wish someone had told me about the long-term effects of using it: difficulty in cycling naturally again being high among them, but also just the effects of not having hormones in balance and how, like any intricate art piece, every little part affects all the others. The Laughing Sage ladies know waaaaaay more than I do about all of this; give 'em a call if you want.

2) Rest, Recharge:

Like so many Americans, my adrenals were semi-tapped. And I've been getting enough sleep for years (after I fell asleep behind the wheel one night and ran my car off the road--that was literally a wake-up call from the Universe). But I'm busy, I drank caffeine, even if it was only tea in the morning, and my brain was on overdrive a lot of the time. Most hormonal issues start in the adrenals. It's why acupuncturists have so many patients with "low kidney/spleen chi" and "overactive/angry livers". The adrenals are tapped and the liver is overworking. In addition to getting sleep, cutting out as much caffeine as you can (I've had none for several months and it's fine--I've only craved it maybe three times), there are some great herbal supports you can take. Ashwaganda is a tincture you can get at a health food store that supports adrenal function; also many herb companies make Adrenal Support formulas. Alisa gave me Jarro brand, and I've been taking it every day for almost 2 months. If you have adrenal burn-out, there are lots and lots and lots of ways to deal with it.

3) Get Your Mind On Something Else:

I'm working on an amazing play. So there's something that requires a whole lotta focus while being a source of incredible happiness and creativity. I was ready to spend the whole summer meditating on a baby, and I am still doing that, but it's not taking up every waking thought. Which I think is helping. A watched pot.....you know.

4) What I'm eating:

Meals that prevent blood-sugar crashes throughout the day. Alisa helped me find a template that works for me; all of us are a little different. The general idea being that it's hard for the endocrine system to function properly if there are crazy blood-sugar highs and lows all day. So eating in a way that supports regular blood sugar is super-helpful. I eat a LOT more protein than I did, no refined sugar, not nearly as many grains as I used to eat, and barrels of veggies. What I did, with Alisa's help, was pay attention to what I ate and how I felt: if I was starving 2 hours later it wasn't a great sign; if my stomach freaked out, also not a good sign. It's intuitive, but sometimes we need help hearing our intuition.

So that's what I got for today.

After the post-it post, Juliana found this for me online at this etsy shop. How cute???!

Day Off

It's my day off today.

I want to spend the next 3 hours here

from This is Glamourous, which I always love browsing

Then get dressed in something like this

Have whatever kind of afternoon she's having

both of the above from Dustjacket Attic, which blows me away every time

Preferably set here

Italian Riviera. Yes, please.

I read today a dream is the same thing as a manifestation. So I'm testing my powers. If I wake up in Portofino this afternoon I will let you know.