What She Is.....

Somewhere in Luciana's first weeks of life I started talking to her about her Little Body and Big Soul. I think it first came out when I was comforting her---it struck me, and still strikes me daily--- how much feeling and spirit is in her currently 14-lb, 26-inch physical body. Every day it seemed we'd talk about this, and I thought it would make a really cute t-shirt. I also know I am amazingly incredibly inept when it comes to the visual arts: my stick figures don't pass the third grade level. While I can probably write in paint better than create images in paint, I accept my limitations, which I think is a strength, and I did want a shirt that looked like someone older than her made it. So knowing that I had a) a lack of talent in the paint department b)no fabric paint or plain onesie on hand c)no desire to make a trip to the craft store for said supplies, I went to land of all things delightful and handmade: Etsy, where I found Little Dewdrops. I felt when I looked at her other shirts that she'd get why I wanted one that said this for my daughter. I pitched her my design, she said Yes, and Luciana's first custom shirt was born. I also had one made for one of my favorite 3-yr-olds.

I think she knows I'm talking about her.

New Age

Quickly, my friends:

Today, 11.11.11 marks the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. Moving away from a self-centered age (Piscean) and into one focussed on community and elevating the experience of being human. Much more about coming from the heart. It's been a long time coming.

I'm actually going to take time this morning to meditate, which means GET OFF MY COMPUTER NOW, but it really is a magical day, and if you want more exposure to some of the thinking around it, Golden Bridge is broadcasting one of their workshops today from 10:30-1:30 PST. I'll be tuning in to the parts that I can, Luciana's naps determining.

Love to you all, and hope you have your Hair soundtrack out today. If you've never listened to Hair you have no idea what I mean, but there's a thematically appropriate song in there. If you want something to rock to in the car:)

xoxoxoxo

Weekend with the Hummingbird

First I want to say I adore you. Thank you for your responses---all of them. Thank you. SO MUCH. I missed you when Blogger went down last week! Put a wrench in my plans for Thursday and all I wanted to chat about. But it's restored and all is well.

Sky was out of town this weekend and the hummingbird and I had some amazing time together. It's starting to feel second nature to say "We did this" or "We went there". Now that the baby is big enough that I feel movement pretty much all day it really feels like someone's with me. Of course I've known that, and felt that, but it's different now. It's becoming automatic to have a dialogue with her. With him. (By the way, feel free to cast your vote---I'm keeping a list.) I didn't actually need or want to be on the phone much, just loved relaxing and watching my belly move as the little one kicked and rolled.

photo from here (thanks, Jora)

Last week I bought the only yoga DVD I've ever owned: Prenatal Yoga with Gurumukh. I can't get to Golden Bridge as often as I'd like to, especially to their prenatal classes, and I'd heard great things about this DVD. So Friday morning, before my dentist appointment, the Bird and I tried it out. Gorgeous. Get it if you're pregnant; get it for someone you know who's pregnant. All the movement feels so good, and the things she says are beautiful. And if it gets a little out there, go with it. At one point towards the end there's time to dance with your baby, as in you in your living room dancing around with your pregnant belly, and I promise if you let yourself do it you don't feel stupid at all. You're dancing with your baby, and babies love to dance.

this one found on Google

I also love what Gurumukh said about being in the flow. I'm such a hard-core perfectionist that I've put pressure on myself at times to have myself totally figured out and my life perfect by the time the baby comes. Most of my life I can happily say is at a 10, but there are a couple of areas I still wrestle with, and I've had fear that I'll give that struggle to my baby. One thing I heard in the video is that what the baby picks up is not that I have fear or stress, but that Mama is in the flow, is working it out, is conscious and connected and willing to evolve. That was just what I needed to hear. Besides, having perfect parents could be really freaky for a kid. Having a mom that has stuff to work on I have to believe gives the child permission to be a work-in-progress as well.

Speaking of yoga: have you seen this?

source here but I think I saw it here

Somehow I don't think it would fly in my Iyengar classes, but in one's own backyard, why not.....

On Saturday morning I was exhausted from a night of calf cramps that had me basically up since 4:30 am, so the baby and I rested on the couch while I finished a delicious novel (Forever Amber, which is a Restoration-era England bodice ripper with lots of passionate longing---I highly highly recommend for a total escape) and we listened to the live broadcast from the Met. That's one of my favorite things to do on a Saturday should I find myself with time to just sit and listen. Saturday was The Valkyrie---not one of my favorite favorites, but glorious just the same. I talked to the baby about what passages I like, and what operas I love even more. Asked the baby's opinion, which usually got no sort of quantifiable response, but was fun just the same. We went to a play at night, and Baby got the hiccups during it. Luckily it was a comedy, because I was giggling.

again

Sky comes home today, and I honestly can't wait. I loved my quiet time with my baby, and I'm ready to have my Baby Daddy home. We feel closer to each other than we ever have, and despite what the statistics are, both of us are committed to our marriage being better than ever once we have a baby.

First of Many

A week went by, didn't it? I'd say I'm not sure how that happened, but I know exactly how it happened. I've been helping to teach a Teacher Training for Yoga Works and I was out of the house before 7:30 every day last week, often not getting home til dinner time or after.

So hi.

We're heading into the last week of the training; it's been really good--a great group of yoga-teachers-to-be coming into the world. And I'll be happy to have a little time back. I feel like I have about 4 months left of My Schedule. Then you-know-who arrives and it's the end of My anything for a while.

Maybe I could say this about anything at any time of my life if I chose to, but I feel I'm being given all different sorts of experiences these 9 1/2 months to prepare me for the surrender necessary for motherhood: surrender of my body, surrender of my time, surrender of my agenda from little things to big. Then you add all the hormones racing around which make me, for one, so unbelievably sensitive on certain days (I had four days straight of tears last week around that super full moon) and I get to practice holding myself together (or not) when every nerve in my body wants to collapse. At least til I get myself alone. It's an intelligent design.

The house has pretty much been on hold these last few weeks, but as I have some time in the months of April and May I promise to post photos on how the redecorating is coming. We have to repaint the bedroom we repainted: the color we chose turned out too light and too blue. Something else to take in stride. I might have to redo a wall someday when one of my children colors on it. And the garage really is the bane of my existence right now: it somehow seems representative of all the chaos waiting for me on the other side of my sanity. But I'll tackle it soon.

Anyway, I did manage to make something delicious last night: lentil burgers.

For the recipe go here, to Heidi's beloved and brilliant site. I added a few walnuts and lemon zest to the recipe, and planned on caramelizing onions until I forgot I'd planned that and it was too late. I made the saffron yogurt sauce she suggested and that is yum. Planning on putting the leftovers on veggies, sandwiches, maybe using as a salad dressing. The one thing I'll say is that she cuts the patties in half and uses them like a bun: so between the patties you have your sauce, avocado, greens, whatever. I guess I didn't make them thick enough because that wouldn't have worked with mine. So I ate with a knife and fork sans bun, and Sky put his between slices of bread and kept moaning about how good it was. Play around. This was the first of many times I'll be making these as I want to master the right thickness to halve and pick up, and I want one with caramelized onions.

Talk soon.

To Tame the Beast

March is getting away from me. I'm assisting a yoga teacher training at Yoga Works where I've taught for the last 10 years, and it's all day every day and that's a lot to get used to. House projects have to wait, the second Twilight movie has to wait (I confess I watched the first one and I double confess that I liked it), and Sky and I are back to scheduling time together. But it's only til April 1.

When I'm my busiest I need music. Need it to quiet the frenetic beat inside that can escalate when I've got a day I won't be home for 12 hours and the kitchen hasn't been cleaned and I haven't really meditated and the garage is still a war zone. And Andrew Bird is high on my list of folks I listen to when I want to get a little cooler. In yoga an excess of heat is rajas, an excess of cold, or sluggishness, is tamas, and the perfect balance is satva. Andrew Bird helps me be sattvic:)

Have you seen this video on YouTube? If you know Mr. Bird it will be an affirmation of how much you love him; if you don't, please say hello to one of your new favorite artists. At the Guggenheim, no less: one of the great buildings in this world if I may humbly opine. His album Noble Beast has tamed my ignoble beast on many a day.

Baby Blessing and some Damn Fine Cookies

The hummingbird and I had quite and experience on Wednesday.

I've been going to kundalini center Golden Bridge about once a week--would be more if I lived closer. I went when I was trying to get pregnant, found it amazing, and I've been going since being pregnant. The Sikhs are incredibly present to and articulate about babies being the new souls that are coming to the earth to evolve humanity. It's a big deal to bring a child into the world and take the responsibility of raising it. Of course it is, we say! But there is something about the way they talk about it that honestly makes me feel that it is the greatest honor and the greatest privilege to be a mom. I have a favorite teacher there, Tej, and a few weeks ago--I hadn't been to her class in a while--I told her I'm pregnant, she asked how far along (15 weeks at the time), and we got to talking.

She told me about the Sikh belief that at 120 days after conception the soul of the baby enters the mother and the developing child. I believe in Judaism the belief is that it enters at the moment of conception; I'm not sure exactly what the Christian belief is; I know I've always believed the soul chooses the parents but I haven't defined when it arrives. She told me that if I were to calculate what that day was (as much as one can calculate--it's all a mystery) and come to class on that day, she'd do a blessing for the baby.

I love rituals. I am crazy for rituals. I get so into anything that channels and centers matters of the spirit, and the more belief systems I can draw from the happier I am. And that my teacher wanted to do one for me?! I left on a pink cloud--went home to figure out the date and make a plan with Tej to be in class. She suggested I bring something to share, as the whole class would be giving to me in their meditation. The day we went for our blessing was Wednesday. So Tuesday night I baked these:

Ginger Molasses Cookies. Recipe to follow.....

Wednesday arrives. We go to class. I have no idea what to expect. I feel a little shy walking in with my tin of cookies. My friend Rhonda is meeting me there. I set out my mat, and wait for Tej with everyone else. When she comes in she says "It's a big day for someone" and she starts to tell the class about me. Tells them there's a mother in the room and that it's time for the soul to enter her/me and the baby. And that this is a time when some very powerful very elevated souls are coming to the planet, and that everyone in the room today has the chance to participate in asking an one of those to come, a soul that will serve the earth and be part of a deep shift that's happening with human beings. She asks me to stand up and show everyone my belly (which is just starting to look a little bit pregnant but still, if you don't know me, could simply look like a big meal).

She starts class with a short meditation, as the big one is coming later. The kriya, or sequence in class that day, is one of grounding, balancing, and strengthening. There are lots of strong arm movements and swinging sequences--if you don't practice kundalini know that it is nothing like hatha in its moves, postures or sequences---- and lots of breath work. She talks a lot about the auric field: making it clear and strong. She talks a lot about feeling good. She happens to play music I love that day with mantras that are for healing and opening and again, getting strong. I feel myself going deeper and deeper into a quiet, profoundly happy place, and feeling so close and committed to this baby.

After an hour or so of that we meditate. In the meditation, all she talks about is me and my child. She asks everyone to bless me and thank me that I have chosen this incarnation in which I'm willing and able to bring a soul into the world. She asks them to thank me for my sacrifice (which doesn't feel like a sacrifice at all, but of course, parenting is a sacrifice of lots of things and I don't know the tip of it yet), and to with their prayers support me and everyone who will raise this child to hold the child in the highest vibration its soul will allow. She talks about the baby, and asks us to pray for a soul that will serve the earth and help to uplift us all. She asks us all to meditate on health and happiness and abundance for this soul that it may feel supported and able to do what it is here to do.

I don't know if I can describe exactly what I went through. I'll try. I've felt connected to this baby since before it arrived. I've written to her or him before I conceived, and I still do. I talk to the baby, sing to the baby. But something about a roomful of people, most of whom I don't know, and a teacher I revere spending their meditation time on me and this being I get to call my baby dropped me into a place of connection that is new. I feel, rather than just knowing with my head, how sacred it is to be a vessel for a new person. That I am the vehicle that a new being is passing through to get here. It is profound. My head can't even start to grasp it, but my heart is.

I didn't have a moment of knowing that Aha! the soul just arrived. It might have been then, it might have been that night when I slept, the soul might have been there all along especially if we want to get all trippy about time-space reality and everything happening now. It doesn't matter. The experience connected me to the magnitude of what's happening, and my gratitude has exploded 100-fold.

After class I handed out my cookies. Again, I felt a little shy but that all went away when everyone was congratulating me and being so happy for me. And the cookies were a hit. You can sub any spices you like. I've used nutmeg, I've left out the mustard, added mace. All up to you. And this time around I forgot to refrigerate them after rolling them and they were still great. Here's how to make them:

Ginger Molasses Cookies

adapted from the Food Network

2 1/4 c all-purpose flour

1 1/2 t ground ginger

1 1/4 t baking soda

1 t cinnamon

1/2 t allspice

1/2 t mustard

1/2 t salt

few grinds black pepper

1 1/2 sticks (3/4 c) unsalted butter, room temp

1/2 c sugar, plus a little extra for rolling cookies

1/4 c dark brown sugar

1 large egg yolk

1 t vanilla extract

1/2 c unsulphured molasses

2 T ginger preserves

1. Whisk flour, baking soda, salt, pepper and dry spices together in a bowl.

2. Beat butter and sugars on med-hi til light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Scrape down sides of bowl. Add egg yolk and vanilla and beat on medium speed til just incorporated. Add molasses and ginger preserves and beat about 30 seconds more, til batter is an even light brown color.

3. Ad dry ingredients all at once, beating slowly to make a soft smooth dough. Use rubber spatula to make sure all ingredients are combined. Beat again for 20 seconds. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate til firm, about 25 minutes.

4. Put about 1/2 c sugar in a small bowl. With a small ice cream scoop or sturdy tablespoon, scoop heaping tablespoons of dough for each cookie. Roll the dough by hand into balls. Roll the tops of the balls in sugar, and space them about 2 inches apart on a nonstick or slightly oiled baking sheet. Refrigerate again until firm.

5. While cookies are chilling, preheat oven to 375.

6. Bake until top is crackly and insides peeking out are dark and moist but not raw, about 15-20 minutes. Briefly cool on cookie sheets, then transfer tp racks to cool completely.

They'll keep for up to 3 weeks sealed.

Now I have to be patient and wait to feel the little bird moving. I'm almost 19 weeks, and some women feel flutters at 18. I haven't yet, and I want to! But it's that watched pot thing.....

xo

Up North

We did, as I said we would, head to San Fran over the weekend. We did, as I said we would, eat A LOT. I'm being really conscious in my pregnancy that this is not a time to eat whatever I want whenever I want to because 1) I want to feed the hummingbird beautiful nutritious things instead of a bunch of refined crap and 2) there will be weight to lose later. That's inevitable. But I'd like it to be the weight I needed to gain and not the weight that came on because I started eating for 5 instead of 2.

That said, it was SO FUN to indulge pretty much all weekend. I was liberated. It was so good.

Friday night we walked through freezing mean rain to The Slanted Door. Yummy and relatively light. Til we got the apple cotton candy at the end. We were determined to walk as we'd been in the car for 6 hours, but that fantasy died as soon as we got to the restaurant and declared those 15 minutes as some of the most miserable of our lives. Inverted umbrella from the wind and rain pouring horizontally into our faces and of course we hadn't brought gloves or hats. It's only February after all. We cabbed it back to the hotel.

Saturday morning was more brutal weather so my plans to trawl the insane farmers' market at the Ferry Building were curtailed. The stands were open, but I wasn't going out there. Instead I stayed happy inside trying little samples of thises and thats (Sky's always made fun of me for how much I love the samples) and curbing urges to bring home boxes of cupcakes and candies

jars of spices from Boulette's Larder

(I did bring back small containers of turmeric root, white cardamom, and their chef's Chinese 5-space blend, Very reasonable I think.)

And, hello! Varieties of mushrooms I have never heard of. What is a Lion's Mane? Must research.

I tried this yogurt, which I don't care if some reviews say is Elitist yogurt. It was completely delicious and served in a canning jar with scrumptious fruit compote on top. Yes.

Saturday night we ate at Chez Panisse Cafe. I actually got us a reservation 3 days before due to someone cancelling, and I thought I had gone up to heaven for the couple hours we were there. No photos to show you, but rest assured it was one of the most beautiful meals I've ever had. Must try to imitate their salsa di noci: a chunky sauce of walnuts and fresh herbs that was served on the pansotti (translate giant ravioli) filled with chard, chrysanthemum, and ricotta. Their kitchen is how I want my kitchen someday: all brick and wood and steel. I think I should commemorate it by hanging this in my kitchen now

Sky loves the number 13.

There was some incredible yoga in between Ferry Building and Chez P but more on that in a moment.

Sunday brunch at Pizzeria Delfina

best ricotta ever

I am totally onboard with the egg-on-pizza trend. Mama needs her protein.

And post-brunch afternoon snack (?) at Tartine

would have loved to bring this home. Meringue and caramel?? It's a Melanie cake. But I don't think it travels. What did travel and came home with me to have on Monday morning was the frangipane (ie almond) croissant

before

and after. That didn't take long.

I could have brought home the whole bakery. We devoured a Morning Bun, which on principle I will never order, but like I said, I was liberated. And have been having Sticky Morning Whatever bun fantasies for a couple of weeks. Gone before I could snap. Damn that orange peel in the sugar.

Before we left on Sunday night Sky got to choose. The man had been following me around SF for 48 hours. I could concede one meal. We went to the place he ate every other day 10 years ago when he lived in the Mission. Truly Mediterranean. And not being a huge falafel fan myself, I have to say it was pretty f-ing good. They do something to their tahini, and that something is delish.

The reason for traveling to SF now was because John Friend was teaching. I could and most probably will in the future write a lot more on him. In his class on Saturday he wove in a concept which I've been walking around with and using every since: unclenching the heart. Love that image. We did deep hip openers for an hour with an image of a person that causes us tension, stress, anger, or fear in our mind, and for that hour of asking the body to yield, kept asking the heart to unclench as well. After just 60 minutes, I felt such peace around that person and in a state of grace in myself. Along with dissolving pain I had around someone else, worries and fears about my own life left as well. I wove it into my class yesterday, but find myself thinking on that as I go through the day. What keeps me coming back to yoga is not how much I can open a hamstring, but how much it can help me be in life. This was one of those experiences.

Monday in LA I spazzed out around the house (my heart definitely clenched for a bit) feeling like it's never going to be done, but calmed down a bit when we walked through our neighborhood where the cherry trees are in full bloom. Life can only be beautiful when there are rows of these to walk amongst.

Good to be back, and I can't wait to go back.

How does it happen that I'm still sitting here in my puffy jacket I pulled out since it was raining this morning, haven't turned any lights on, have been lying on my stomach (better do it while I still can) and have been roaming the internet for.....how long??

There's a pile of paper next to me for recycling since I did manage to pay some bills and organize some receipts in the middle of researching all the places I want to EAT this weekend when we go to San Francisco. You'll get the full report next week, but in the meantime if you have a favorite restaurant that's veggie-friendly do tell. I'm pretty sad I only get six meals there, and that's if we wake up early/stay up late enough to merit eating that. Baby has me realllly sleepy these days. I think someone is growing fast. And therefore needs LOTS of food. Tartine, I'm coming. Save a loaf.

I think the last time I was in San Fran is when Sky and I got engaged. Is that right?? He took me on a surprise trip to Napa, made the room look like this

while I was at the gym, and after an epic sort of obstacle course/blindfolded sensory treasure hunt gave me this

That night we went to Bouchon (pictured here

the next day when we went back. For macarons. You know how I feel about macarons.)

I wore this faux fur which my amazing stepmom found me on ebay and I still love. One can't not feel glamourous when wearing this. Mad Men costume designer would approve, methinks.

It was all appropriately rainy and romantic

and on the way home I got to see where my then-future-husband partied way too much

I think I'm glad I didn't go to Stanford, if only because had I known him then we might have been ruined for each other.

Did I just comb through my past for images for you? Totally. And they're all of Napa when we're spending most of our time in the city. I can't help it. I'm an emotional pregnant lady and there's nothing like a sentimental trip through the past to offset the rage I felt when the Gas Co. failed to show up for the service appointment I scheduled the day around. So I'm sitting here being sappy.

OK, yeah, we're off to NoCal; I'll be back here on Monday and will probably talk about food. Although we're also going up there to take a workshop with John Friend, who really is as special as I've always heard he is. I'm loving practicing yoga pregnant, I gotta say. I've never gotten so much tender individual attention from senior teachers:)

Have a beautiful rest of your week. See you after Presidents' Day.

I Have No Limits!!

At least that's how I'm expecting to feel now that I bought the new No Limit Tank from Lululemon.

I didn't actually BUY it in the traditional sense of the word---I had a gift card, which is my favorite way to buy anything.

I saw a girl wearing one at the gym a few days ago and I probably scared her when I rushed her to ask (without even a Hi--I'm so rude sometimes) "Did you get that at Lululemon recently?!" Translate: "Hi, total stranger, tell me where you got your pretty top so I can get one too and you can feel slightly deflated when you see someone else wearing your new favorite thing."

But she was generous and told me, yes, she'd gotten it last week. So I snuck over today and blessing of blessings found that color in the picture in my size. I don't buy Lulu often because it does cost a lot, but all the testimonials are true: it lasts almost forever and I feel so good in them. I think that's important when exercising. I honestly relate to my body differently when I like what I put it in, even if I'm getting hot, stinky and sweaty. Speaking of stinky, this top has an anti-stink something in the fabric so one could wear it a couple days in a row and no one would know! Except the girl who always books the bike next to you in spinning. She might notice. As I am one to wear a favorite piece of clothing for up to 4 days in a row, this is good news.

And for any mommies-to-be out there, look at the room in the belly!!! You could totally grow into this thing, and the bra top isn't one of those crazy-tight ones like some of theirs are.

I feel limitless just talking about it.

Coming and Going

We're moving on Sunday.

We are moving into an adorable 2-bedroom, 2-bath little house where after 4 years I will have a bathtub and a closet that doesn't require a stepladder and arabesques to reach my dresses. There's going to be some repainting happening on the inside, and some gardening happening on the out, and I am really excited.

I'm also buried in boxes and dealing with neck and back aches from bending and lifting and reaching and wrapping. It's all OK, this is just what moving is, but I find I'm having one of those weeks where I kinda know what I feel but not really. Because as much as I may try to be still, I'm thinking about what the packing agenda for the day is and how the timeline of meeting the cable guy and spackling the holes is going to work. And I do want to be present this week because the place we're leaving has been a huge part of our lives. I wish I could run my hand over every square inch of wall and just thank this house.

When Sky and I moved back from New York at the beginning of 2007 we moved here. This is the first place we found together, the house where we lived when we got engaged, married, where his business started and I worked on the Segerstrom Stage at South Coast Rep. It's where I made the decorations for our wedding, where we had the baby shower for our nephew Dashiell, where I made macarons for the first time, and where my meditation practice started to get pretty deep. It's the house where my body healed, where we see hummingbirds and the ocean every day, and it's on the street I walked down in college and wished I lived on.

We're leaving because we need more space, but both of us wish we could slide a door and live a parallel life where we live here forever. Although then I'd HAVE to build a different closet. And install a tub. It feels weird to me to know all of this but to be so busy boxing it up that I'm not feeling much of anything about leaving. But I know it's there.

Anyhoo, all of that to say that I got home not too long ago and I am zonked. No more packing tonight. I opened an email that a friend had sent me, went to a link of a video she praised, and now it's an hour later and I've found a new source of phenomenal inspiration: Brene Brown.

Intrigued?

Go here.

Then go here. Maybe you'll check out her blog. I know it's going on my blog roll.

I love this talk so much. It's 20 minutes, but take the time. Right around 9 minutes it starts getting so good you want to push the pause button and write down everything she's saying. Like when she shares the true definition of courage: "telling the story of who you are with your whole heart". Which equals being imperfect. Which equals being vulnerable, which is at the heart of what she's saying. Tell me an area of life that doesn't apply to. I can't wait to read more of what she writes. And sit with it. Once I start feeling again:) She's a "Researcher Storyteller" and she's saying some pretty beautiful things about being a human being, which tonight I needed to hear much more than I needed to seal up another box.

I Heart Beth Lapides

I have such aspirations for my blog! Such organization, such regularity, such consistency! I've planned and re-planned the themes, what I'll do every Monday, every Thursday, when I'll post quotes.....I've managed to do exactly NONE of the above. I get here when I get here, and, in my quest to embrace my imperfections, focus on how much I love putting things up here, and do what I can do. For those of you that read, I so thank you. And for those of you that comment, well, you make my day. Honestly.

A loooooong time ago I posted on this beautiful being. And with it I said I wanted to post about inspiring women regularly. I think I've done that, mmm, one other time. I've thought about a lot of candidates though:) However, I went to a show last week that rocked my world. If you don't live in LA and therefore can't get to one of the shows yourself, never fear: you can browse the website and listen to podcasts and it'll be like you were in the room. I'd like to introduce you to Beth Lapides. She takes the "ow" out of "Now". She wrote that, not me.

She does a show called "100% Happy 88% of the time" currently playing at the Improv Lab Theatre on Melrose Wednesday nights for a few more weeks. I'll wreck it if I try to explain it to you, but a hint is that being FINE sucks. Be really happy or really bloody miserable, because they're much closer together than you'd think. And when you're unhappy, confused, scared, don't know where to turn, there are signs from your friend the cosmos all around to point you in the right direction. Beth is a gifted comedienne, and I am not, so I won't try to humorously recount her insanely humorous show, butI will tell you what I love about it.

At the heart of it, I'd say, is the balance between living today, in LA, and being on that Hollywood ride, and at the same time, and perhaps more importantly so, being drawn to and unable to get away from, the sense--no, more than a sense--that the cosmos is a real thing and that tapping into is is muy importante. In fact, everything you need is right there at your mystical fingertips. OMG my thoughts exactly!!! If you head over to her syndicated column (yes, I steered you to a post I particularly like, and yes, she's a yogi---PURR) you'll get a sense of why she describes herself in her bio as "a Type-A free spirit: working hard to let the wind blow her where it will." OMG that's me!!!

I love this woman. She is rad rad RAD. And what I love, too, is that as I drove home, I remembered how much happier I am when I surrender to the part of myself some might call Out There. When she talked about skepticism and then miracles surrounding a particular incident involving angel healings, I laughed so hard I hurt and also thought YEEEEEEES!!! I love when I let these miracles happen, and I am so much happier when I am believing in signs and listening for cosmic cues. I do meditate, I do believe in the Law of Attraction, I do take time every day to connect to and thank powers bigger than me.....and yet I can still get lost. Still think the to-do list is more important than getting enough sleep. Still get scared that so-and-so got the job I wanted---as if the right one isn't coming to me at the exact right time. And on top of that I can be cynical! So so so so cynical! Like rolling-my-eyes-wishing-they-would-shut-up-about-crystals-already-cynical! I love reminders, and I love when they're hilarious reminders, to come back to myself and to let this life be the wild ride that it is, and that we are all so much more connected than it can seem when we're in our pods. I mean cars. And that I love crystals. In fact I want a crystal. In fact I love people who know a lot about crystals. Thank you, Beth, for reminding me of that, and thank you for being an inspiration for where consciousness can take you if you let it.

both images from her site

She runs workshops, she has podcasts, she has a book of haikus, and yes, she even has a blog.

While you peruse her site, I'm taking a trip over to Mystic Journey Bookstore and getting better acquainted with my inner angel listener.

Yoga and My Husband and A Very Cool Offer

361 days ago I married my hero. Our one year anniversary is this Sunday; we're going to meet up in Del Mar (where we got married) late Sunday night after my show and spend til Tuesday morning there. I can't believe it's been a year---and yet I can----I feel like I'm still getting used to saying "My husband", and in a way I don't remember us not married......I know how lucky I am to be with such an extraordinary person--not a day goes by I don't say Thank You to the powers that brought us together. Here we are on September 19, 2009

photos courtesy of Michele M. Waite

Because I love him so much and am so impressed by who he is I'm going to shamelessly promote him. Sky is CEO of Manduka, which is the only brand of yoga product you want to own. Before he had anything to do with Manduka, I coveted the famous Manduka Black Mat which lasts your lifetime (the most eco-conscious choice you can make as you'll never have to replace it, hence creating zero waste!). Since Sky came aboard the company has grown like green beans in summer. There are the lifelong mats, there are lightweight mats, there are biodegradable mats, there are travel mats. There are blocks and straps and bags and towels. There are bolsters (my favorite prop since they inherently imply one will be lying down in relaxing positions for lengthy periods of time, and these are so pretty and so comfy. I've been known to set out on a full practice only to spend the whole time in viparita karani-- ie legs up the wall with a bolster lifting the mid back--because the bolster is so seductive) and super-plush towels for "hot yoga" which I love so much that I go to hot yoga classes every once in a while just so I can use one.

Their new website is amazing. Really--go take a tour. You can get inspired by the yoga community, see little diagrams of how the mats support your joints, read uplifting quotes by yoga teachers, and discover a passion for yoga products maybe you didn't know you had.

Why I am sneakily linking this to my anniversary and introducing you to Manduka is because Manduka is participating in Yoga Aid, a fundraising event happening all over the world on Sept 18th and 19th. Free classes will be offered as part of an effort to raise money for charities that are doing miraculous things to bring yoga and most importantly consciousness to corners of the globe far and near. As part of Yoga Aid, Manduka is offering 10% off everything on the site, plus they're giving 10% of all purchases to Yoga Aid. AND if you spend more than $150 you get a free mat cleaning spray, so maybe this is the time to dress your yoga room for fall.

I haven't talked much about yoga since I started this here blog but it's a huge part of my life. It's where I've gotten a lot more comfortable being imperfect, it's where I've done things I didn't think I could do, it's been a source of peace, it's where I've honestly gotten ecstatic, it's been something that no matter what I know will make my day better if I do it. And it's actually how Sky and I met, in Yoga Works Teacher Training in 2001. That was a couple of years before we started dating, and perhaps on another day I'll tell you the whole story.

Happy anniversary my sweet.

And happy shopping my sweets.