Things are Growing....

....around here.

Me, for one. Here's 24 weeks; I'm currently at 25.

Graduated a few days after this pic to maternity jeans, the one item of bonafide maternity wear I was committed to buying. I went for Paige, because hers have always fit me great. Such a relief to be comfy in jeans again.

Also growing:

Some bonuses with the new house. Just growing all over the back fence without me lifting a finger and getting more and more lush each day. Thank you plants.

And as part of belly getting bigger, we took our childbirth education class over the weekend. As opposed to what other kind of birth I'm still trying to find out. I hope I birth a child. And not, say, a baby horse.

It was so good. Sky's schedule makes it hard to commit to a 6-week deal, so we did the weekend intensive with Ana Paula at Binibirth. She is amazing. Brazilian (with an Italian background so the theatrics were on at times which I loved), hilarious, compassionate, experienced (she's won every doula and childbirth educator award there is to win in LA)--I adore her. I expected to learn some techniques for coping with labor and maybe some postpartum tips, which I did. She doesn't overcomplicate it because I believe the point is to feel secure enough in the basic knowledge of the process that I can get out of my head and go with my body. I expected to meet some other parents-to-be, which I did. I expected for Sky and I to have a beautiful time together as we took another step towards this massive and incredible change about to occur in our lives. That happened too.

What I didn't expect was to feel so excited to be in labor when the weekend finished. Ana asked us at the start of the weekend what we expect from labor and I said I expect it to be the most challenging thing I've ever done, but also the most sacred. I feel that way having finished the weekend and having learned more about what I can most likely expect (the feeling that the baby is going to come out of my rear, for one thing). I feel.....relaxed. Like the weekend was an affirmation of what I know: I am designed to do this. I have 2 friends who for their first births were 3 1/2 hours start to finish, so I know that exists, but I'm not planning on that. I'm planning on a good, I don't know, 15-24 hours of moderate to extreme intensity. And I'm looking forward to it. Pain scares me when I think it signals something wrong. This is going to signal something so incredibly right. So I don't have to be scared, and I'm not. Ana distinguished between pain and suffering. I might be in pain during labor, but that doesn't mean I'll be suffering. We have a while--another 3 1/2 months or so---but I'm glad I took the course now so I have time to let it all sink in. And an excuse to ask Sky to massage me. A LOT. It's practice for labor, after all.

And the prize at the end of all that squatting and moaning and maybe yelling and definitely breathing will be one of these

I'll be writing a whole lot about my thoughts on impending motherhood. Right now I can hardly put words to the waves that washed over me during the weekend where I felt the magnitude of the change that's coming, the miracle that's coming, and with that a sense of complete wide-eyed bewilderment because I cannot comprehend it. Its utterly unknown. For the first time in my life, I can't even try to plan what this will be. It's like I'm standing at the edge of the Pacific Ocean and someone just told me I will swim across it and I'll know how. But it's bigger than that.